7 Tops tips for motivating yourself to make changes

1.  Sit down and take some time to discover the thoughts and ideas that underpin the need for change.  You need to discover your own reasons for wanting to change not other people’s.

2. True power for change lies with you..and it is up to you to follow through, you and you alone are responsible for your actions.

3. Think about the different options you have for achieving the change you want.

4. Reassure yourself that change is possible by focusing on previous successes and highighting the skills and strengths you have.

5. Examine the discrepancies between where you are now and where you want to be and identify how the ways you behave interferes with you achieving your goals.

6. Resolve any ambivalence you may have by focusing on the consequences of not making changes and any benefits you will gain from making changes.

7. Talk about the changes you are going to make, the more you talk about them the more likely you are to change.

How helpful are your thoughts?

Do you sometimes have to deal with emotions like anger, frustration, shame, guilt and anxiety? What are the causes of these emotions? Many of your emotions are underpinned by beliefs that are negative or irrational (or both). You can probably recognise them most easily by looking for the thoughts that are prefaced by the word “should”. These negative beliefs we have about ourselves and the world we live in can lead to unhelpful emotions and to ways of behaving that undermine us.

Spend a few minutes thinking quietly about the ways in which your thinking leads to your distress. If you are anything like me you will come up with quite a list of unhelpful thought patterns. My list includes black and white thinking, assuming the worst, overgeneralising, focusing on the negatives, comparing myself unfavourably, predicting problems and mind reading. Quite a list.

However I have been able to develop healthier ways of thinking by creating the time and space I need to identify these unhelpful thought patterns that lead to difficult emotions. As a result I am able to identify thought that are unhelpful and to question their validity. But perhaps the best approach I have found is to monitor my thoughts at the time when these emotions are present, to identify the thoughts that have arisen, and to acknowledge them without making judgements. To jus let them go and to stay with the sensations in my body and by using my breath to anchor me to the here and now, rather than ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. And to recognise that thoughts are just thoughts and to focus on my direct experience.

When things aren’t fair

In my opinion the focus in the workplace should not be solely on productivity and making a profit.  I think employers should also care about the personal welfare of their employees and that means paying attention to creating and maintaining a positive working environment.  By creating a more positive working environment employees have a better chance of maintaining feelings of calm and inner satisfaction at work.

 

There are lots of examples of unfairness in the workplace and trying to maintain peace of mind can be challenging.  You need to
challenge injustice whilst at the same time keeping calm and avoid getting frustrated, angry or feeling despair. Start by analysing the situation you find yourself in from different perspectives and in doing so try to reshape your attitude and outlook by seeing if your current response is helping or not.   Remember similar situations you have dealt with in the past and what impact did it have on your physical or mental well-being.  It will be helpful if you can respond with a positive approach. No situation is 100% good or bad and gaining a wider perspective will help.
Do not hang on to the feelings of being miserable, let go of any grudges and dissatisfaction and instead try to understand other people’s situation.  This does not mean that you should be passive, if necessary take appropriate action to resolve the problem.

Wise Words

What is the best advice you have been given?

For me the following wise words been of great help, especially when I have felt “stuck” and unsure of what to do next..

Never stop pursuing a greater understanding of yourself, the world , how you relate to people and how they relate to you.

Take the time to clarify your life and to decide for yourself where you want to go and who you want to be.