7 Tops tips for motivating yourself to make changes

1.  Sit down and take some time to discover the thoughts and ideas that underpin the need for change.  You need to discover your own reasons for wanting to change not other people’s.

2. True power for change lies with you..and it is up to you to follow through, you and you alone are responsible for your actions.

3. Think about the different options you have for achieving the change you want.

4. Reassure yourself that change is possible by focusing on previous successes and highighting the skills and strengths you have.

5. Examine the discrepancies between where you are now and where you want to be and identify how the ways you behave interferes with you achieving your goals.

6. Resolve any ambivalence you may have by focusing on the consequences of not making changes and any benefits you will gain from making changes.

7. Talk about the changes you are going to make, the more you talk about them the more likely you are to change.

How helpful are your thoughts?

Do you sometimes have to deal with emotions like anger, frustration, shame, guilt and anxiety? What are the causes of these emotions? Many of your emotions are underpinned by beliefs that are negative or irrational (or both). You can probably recognise them most easily by looking for the thoughts that are prefaced by the word “should”. These negative beliefs we have about ourselves and the world we live in can lead to unhelpful emotions and to ways of behaving that undermine us.

Spend a few minutes thinking quietly about the ways in which your thinking leads to your distress. If you are anything like me you will come up with quite a list of unhelpful thought patterns. My list includes black and white thinking, assuming the worst, overgeneralising, focusing on the negatives, comparing myself unfavourably, predicting problems and mind reading. Quite a list.

However I have been able to develop healthier ways of thinking by creating the time and space I need to identify these unhelpful thought patterns that lead to difficult emotions. As a result I am able to identify thought that are unhelpful and to question their validity. But perhaps the best approach I have found is to monitor my thoughts at the time when these emotions are present, to identify the thoughts that have arisen, and to acknowledge them without making judgements. To jus let them go and to stay with the sensations in my body and by using my breath to anchor me to the here and now, rather than ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. And to recognise that thoughts are just thoughts and to focus on my direct experience.

Remove stress by changing the way you see things

People and situations in themselves do not cause you stress, the cause of your stress is the way that you think about them.

Things that you encounter do not have any inherent meaning i.e. they are not bad or frightening in themselves, they have only the meaning that you choose to give them.

In order to see the positive in in any situation you first need to be prepared to let go of any negative thoughts and feelings you have.

When you let go of these negative thoughts and feelings, you make the space you need to identify the positive learning opportunity that you have been presented with.

When you are afraid you have an opportunity to learn about yourself and the beliefs you have about yourself and the world you live in.

By changing the beliefs that underpin your fears you have an opportunity to deal more effectively with your stress.