Finding real happines

What makes you really happy?

What do you want out of life?

Does what you have not satisfy you and therefore you want more?

Do you feel you are in competition with others to reach the top?

Do you strive to maintain your grasp on things like power and status, afraid of what might happen if you lost them? And is this preventing you from enjoying life to the full?

What are the consequences of your striving to achieve or obtain more? Are you feeling increasingly stressed?

True happiness is not possible unless you have inner peace.   Inner peace requires your to take the time to sit and look deeply at what you are doing.  Without this awareness and understanding you will be unable to identify and meet your  real needs.   Real happiness requires understanding, love and compassion for yourself and others.

Happiness also depends on your having the ability to handle painful feeelings.  Handling painful feelings requires you to stop running away from or difficulties with constant activity or consumption.

Finding real  happiness is not a selfish act because once you have found real happiness you will be better able to relate to other people and their suffering, to put yourself in theor position.  Once you do this you will then have a better idea of what you need to do to help them.

Being in touch with your best self

In my work I meet people who are stressed, exhausted and frustrated.  At work they feel they are no longer in control as they try to manage the increasing pressures and demands being placed upon them.  Most of these people have given up on the idea of having a good work-life balance and are resigned to having no choice when it comes to how they respond to these pressures and challenges. It does not have to be this way.

Finding balance is about dealing more mindfully with the changes that are occurring, including the pressures and challenges.  This means stopping and  taking the time needed to find out how work in impacting on your thoughts, your emotions and your physical health.

How out of balance is your life?  Sometimes it has to get really bad before we do anything about it.

For me the answer is to get in touch with my relationship with work here and now, not remembering “the good old days” ( which if I am honest were not always that good!) or thinking about how it might be if only I worked harder, came to the end of my “to do” list.  This is all about being more mindful.   Becoming  mindful is simple but it is not easy. …it takes commitment and patience to reassess our roles and the way we behave in the workplace.  But it is only when we know the REAL cause of our imbalance that we get the clarity we need to take action.

It may surprise you to know that the pressures and demands we face in the workplace are not the source of our stress.  The real cause is that we are too afraid to make the changes needed to be really in touch with best selves ourselves.

So how do we do this?

Step 1: Take an honest look at yourself and your situation and ask yourself how true to yourself are you being when at work.

Step 2: Ask yourself ” What is my best self like?”

Step 3: Develop a blueprint for being your best self

Step 4: Be your best self more often by taking small steps and then evaluating the impact. Don’;t try to do it all at onbce.

Step 5: Learn to trust your instinct more

Step 6: Look after your physical well-being, and more specifically listen to your body when it tells you it is unwell or in pain

 

And finally…slow down!

 

7 steps to being happier at work

1. Start be looking for reasons to be happy rather than excuses to be miserable because in life you tend to find what you are looking for!
2. Take the time to get to know and understand the people you are working with and then try to find a common goal.  By putting relationships first you will find work easier and more enjoyable.
3. Be enthusiastic about what you are doing and do not get caught up in the negativity that brings everyone down.
4. Do not find fault, instead make the effort to show your gratitude by giving a small gift or a simple note that says Thank You.
5. Look for what is good in other people and situations.  If you cannot find anything positive to say about either your work or the people you work with it is probably time to find another job!
6. Focus on, and enjoy each moment.  This involves doing what you can to make it a positive memory.
7. Most importantly……Make sure you are doing what you really want to do.

10 tips for being happy at work in tough times

In these tough economic times how can you ensure work still contribute to your happiness?

1. Associate with people who are both wise and ethical
2. Take the time to create and maintain a pleasant working environment
3. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and develop, to be the best at what you do
4. Know that you are making a positive contribution
5. Be mindful of the words you use, do not talk yourself and other people down
6. Be generous, willing to share your time and skills with others
7. Be grateful for, and content with, what you have, rather than stressing about what is lacking
8. Be open to change, willing to adapt to your changing circumstances
9. Live honestly, this means being honest with yourself and others
10. Acknowledge there are many different ways to serve and support your family