A different approach to handling disagreements

1. Take a deep look at your perceptions, you may find that you have got it wrong.

2. Then take a deep look at the other person and reflect upon how you are seeing that person.  Are you seeing things clearly?  To what extent are they a victim of your wrong perceptions?

3. Be aware of any tendency you have to pull away from the other person or the situation…or of trying to cover up your feelings.

4. Listen to yourself, take the time you need to be heard and to be understood by yourself.  If you cannot listen to yourself how are you going to be able to listen to other people?

5. Accept things just the way they are, this will help you to remain calm.

6. Forget about trying to impose your views on others, focus your attnyion on looking and listening deeply to the other person.

7. Focus your efforts on finding peace and happiness in that moment…it is the only moment you have.

 

 

 

3 Steps to dealing with impatience

What tries your patience?  Is it the time it takes for your PC to “boot up”? Maybe it is waiting in a queue or perhaps being kept on hold when you make a phone call…or sitting in a traffic jam?

And what happens to you when you get impatient?

I know that when I get impatient I sometimes forget everything I have learned about not getting stressed.  I forget to breathe, the muscles in my neck and shoulders tense and I am not as couteous as I should be with the people around me.  This is because I have my own agenda and this involves sorting something out, getting something done or getting somewhere often within a self imposded deadline.  Yes there are defintely times when I find it hard to be mindful…and this is usually when I need it most.

So what can you do when these feelings or impatience arise?  How can we learn to appreciate who we are and what we have right now, rather than being impatient for things to be different?

The first step is to recognise your impatience for what it is and to be open to the feelings of irritation and discomfort.   There is a great deal of learning to be had from understanding the thoughts and feelings that arise when things do not go the way we want them to.

The next step is to learn to use these delays and setbacks as an opportunity for slowing down, for recognising and letting go of any anxiety, instead relaxing, fully alert and curious about what is happening in the present moment rather than stressing about how things “should” be.

The final step is to learn to appreciate the pace of everything we do…even when it is slower than we would like.

By adopting this approach we are able to develop a way of working more mindfully.  We are able to let go of the need to be in control of everything and to engage with the uncertain and messy nature of work.  We are also better able to balance the determination and effort we put into our work with a greater appreciation and respect for the way things are.